10 Tips For Dating A Coworker

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Dating someone in your professional field can be awesome. They will understand your passion more than a partner outside the field. You can discuss things that they can relate to. This is one advantage of dating a co-worker. However, while dating a coworker is a brilliant idea there are things that you need to take into consideration. First and foremost how will the relationship affect you and others around you professionally? Trust me you don’t want to ruin your career for a romance that may not work out. It becomes hard to work in the same environment after a breakup. While this may not be the case for you, you still need to make preparations and outweigh the pros and cons. There are cases where relationships started out in the workplace and they were successful. We cannot predict the outcome but we can prepare ourselves for it.

How to date a co-worker?

Dating a co-worker is similar to dating anyone except that they work with you. You see them every day and spend most of your time with them. Hence it is easy to build attraction in this situation. Dating a coworker should be approached with caution and taken slowly. Build a friendship first and then you proceed to ask the person out. Once you spend sufficient time outside of the office you will be able to tell if the feeling is mutual. If the feeling is mutual you express your desire to date.

See also: 7 Tips That Will Help You Improve Relationships At Work


Tips For Dating A Coworker


Know the rules and abide by them

Dating co-workers can be regarded as a breach of professional ethics. It is not a culture that is tolerated everywhere. Many organizations want their employees to focus and give their best and may not allow dating. Being emotionally attached to someone at work can interfere with productivity.  Some organizations will allow it but as long as it does interfere with the company’s productivity. Before you consider dating a co-worker, be sure that it is safe and ethical.


Avoid any form of harassment

You want to date the woman or man you cannot stop thinking about. Bear in mind the feelings may not be mutual and making advances can make the person uncomfortable. You have to be careful as it may seem like you are harassing the person. Start slowly with just hanging out and see if the person feels comfortable or reciprocate the feeling. If you have been rejected then do not pressure the person. Let it go and focus on your job.


Maintain excellent job performance

After you are sure your romance is aligned with the organization’s  code and ethics then it is time to prove that you can handle yourself well even though you are dating a co-worker. Hopefully, you have an honorable reputation that you will continue to uphold during the tenure of the relationship. If a break up happens, you should still honor that reputation and retain your usual outstanding job performance.


Establish boundaries

There is a place for everything. If you are dating a co-worker, make sure you when you are at work it is strictly business. Romance should be done outside of office hours. It was annoying when couples were open about their affair in high school. Do you think it will be different at the office? Be considerate of other employees and keep things on the low when you date a co-worker. Do not give preferential treatment to your significant other but treat he or she the same way you treat other employees. This will minimize animosity. In addition, keep lovers quarrel where they belong. I understand the anger is boiling to the point where you want to scream at your partner but self- control is the key. Creating a scene at work may get you both fired.


Nurture the relationship

You want this relationship to be successful right? Nurture it and treat it seriously. Do not bring work into the picture when you both have your alone time. Find other areas of interest and common ground. Get to know the person beyond the professional mask and build a deep connection. Apart from winning lawsuits for clients what else is your partner good at? Get to know your partner.


Discuss if you want the relationship to be public

You need to discuss with your co-worker if you want the relationship to be public at work. It is a choice that both partners should agree with. There are pros and cons associated with the decision made. If you go public it will be much easier. You don’t want to be hiding things for too long as it will put a strain on both partners. You may run into your co-workers at the restaurant you both like to visit for date nights. Well, things will get suspicious and before you know it everyone on the floor knows you are dating the secretary or the project manager. Informing your boss and colleagues about the relationship can make things run smooth. Do this when you are both secured and the relationship is in the serious stage. There is no need to be discreet provided that you have checked with the company’s policy and it is allowed.


Don’t confide in other co-workers

Confide in other co-workers about your personal life but once it involves someone else, keep quiet. It does not matter if the co-worker is your friend. Do not discuss your partner’s personal life with other co-workers. This can result in gossip and destroy the relationship. Respect the person you are dating privacy. They open up to you, not your co-workers. Leave it up to them to disclose things about themselves.


Don’t use work email to communicate

This tip reinforces that you need to keep things professional. The work email should be strictly for work. I know you will be tempted to text them how gorgeous they look today but you don’t know who is monitoring those emails and how the conversation will turn out. The work email is not for personal use.

Date within your league

There are successful stories where people date their bosses and those higher than them. However, it is not a good image and sometimes it can damage your reputation. It will not be seen as genuine especially if a woman date a boss. It can change the context of the working relationship and may lead to problems. In order to avoid conflict within the workplace try to date within your league.


Be prepared if the relationship fail

If the relationship fail are you prepared to work within the same environment? If not would you be financial stable to quit your job and find another work? These questions need to be taken into consideration. Use your history to help you with these answers. In general, how did you handle breakups in the past? Of course, it will not be easy but are you strong enough to control your emotions until it is safe to break down?

Wrapping it up

Dating a coworker is awesome but it is risky at the same time. You need to be careful when  pursuing a romantic relationship with someone at work. It can be successful, just keep it professional and establish boundaries.

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